Lurking my blog are you now?

Ok, so apparently after this weekend I have discovered that there are those of you out there that like to read my blog and actually look forward to reading it everyday.  This information truly tickled my happy button
.......in my brain (you dirty minded people!)

But the happiness dwindles a bit when I realized that there are a few certain folks that read regularly but don't follow me!  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me some excuse about oh I tried to but.... (fill in the blank with your own phrase here.) My answer is yes, you could be having some problems trying to follow **raising my eyebrows sarcastically here because it's really quite easy** but if that's the case couldn't you at LEAST leave comments? Come on! Give a girl a break here! 

I mean come on folks! You do realize that if you don't follow or at least leave comments then you really are just a plain 'ole lurker!  Ewwwwwwwwww!  A lurker!!!!!!!!  You know one of those creepy old guys that hangs around the playground that everyone warns kids about???

Oh you like to laugh do you now?  Well, how about this one: If you read my blog regularly and 1. don't follow me and/or 2. don't comment  then you are just a BLOG PERV!  Yeah! I said it!  That's right!  (hubs would say oh my god, did you really just say that? Me: Yes, hubs, I did! insert: CHEESY GRIN!)

So, come on you blog perv!  (I won't go and say your name here in public or anything but you know who you are!) COMMENT, FOLLOW ME!  (or just lurk and laugh if that's the only attention I can get b/c some attention is better than none right? hehehehe)

Do I hear voices?

Ok, so many of you know the ups and downs I have been having lately.  So, you all know that I have been on a virtual roller coaster of my own.  I don't need the people around me to yank me up and force me to ride THEIR roller coasters. Yanno?

Anyways, I am smart enough to know when things are tough.  And by tough I mean I have thoughts. Mean, vicious, horrid thoughts about those around me. These thoughts are caused by the things they do. For example: The hubs has a bad habit of slurping his coffee.  It drives ME INSANE! Usually, I can grit my teeth and get through it. But this past weekend I couldn't help it. I began to plan his death.  I mean it was the only thing giving me the ability to calm myself enough NOT to actually go and grab the knife from the kitchen and perform an unauthorized surgery upon him.

As if that wasn't enough the boy (who has taken to doing EVERYTHING like his dad ARGH!) slurped his coffee.  That was the limit for me. I camped out in the bedroom for the rest of the day. It was the safest place in which there are no knives. Well except for the machete that stays under my bed to allow me to slice any burglars that come into my house.

So, I made an appt with the dr.  Fully aware that they may commit me on the spot I told him of the anger I felt as well as the recent death of my uncle etc etc etc. I told him this has happened only 3 times in my life and each time I just need a little assistance to get over the "wanting to maim/slice/kill people" phase.  The first was when the boy was born preemie and we didn't know if he would live/die etc. The second was about 4 years ago when a hurricane hit and we were all so worried about homes/properties etc for family. And now, my uncle (more like my dad) has died.


Then as seriously as he could (and probably a bit afraid for his own life) doc asked Do you hear voices?

I busted out laughing. No, I don't and never have heard voices. I told him.  A look of relief came over his face and he gladly wrote me a script for my xanax.

While I am laughing at this all now I must wonder doesn't ANYone else just feel like killing someone? Surely, I'm not alone! I mean I know that Aubrey turns into a werewolf with hormonal fluctuations. 

Maybe this is just another one of those times that I am saying out loud what others only say in their heads? So, how about it?  Share something, anything with me so I know I'm not alone.

Freedom...

I am sitting here anxiously watching the minutes tick by on the clock (ok that doesn't really happen because all the clocks in my house are digital so in reality the minutes don't tick by because there is no second hand.  Does that mean I am showing my age? ~~SHRUG~~).  I am wondering what I am going to do for the next 2 weeks while the husband is in Salt Lake City.  12 days to be exact.  12 long days of either pining away or 12 short days of doing ANYTHING I want without explanation.

Things like eating cereal for dinner, eating cupcakes for breakfast (yes I have this one planned!  I found the most delicious looking gluten free vanilla cupcakes at Whole Paychecks today.) or maybe even sleeping all day until 20 minutes before having to pick up little people from school.  Better yet!  I can watch hour after hour of ANY reality TV show I want!~

I believe the 12 short days of doing anything I want will be my choice.  It's not that Charles is demanding or anything but I do have this feeling of guilt that washes over me at times when he comes in the door from work and he goes to cook dinner.  So, this past week I have cooked dinner almost every night and I know he was wondering what major event was happening while shoving platefuls of food down his throat.

Now, I am free.  Free to lay around, write, read, sleep or whatever I choose.  So, if you call and I don't answer no worries.  I am really here, alive, but more in a hibernation state of existence.  If you come by I hope you know the "secret" manner in which to get into the house when it's locked because I have to admit that I will not be dragging my lazy rear off the couch to unlock the door.

I am not asking nor expecting anyone to like, agree or do anything about this planned state of disgustingly delicious exit from the outer world.  I am merely reveling in the fact of the beauty of it all!

And right about the time that I realize I have gained my lost lbs back and I have watched reality TV until my eyeballs are popping out I will put everything back in order around the house and happily pick up my hubby from the airport!