Mother's Day..........did you fall for it?

I bet I have you wondering what the hell I am doing saying something like that title right? Well, it's just me and my slightly off view of how I look at things.  

Now, before you get your panties (or underoos whichever it may be) in a wad just hear me out.  I just like anyone can, will and expect to partake in a day of pampering in whatever manner my little heart desires. However, after a day of this traditional treatment I am sitting here wide awake at nearly 2am.  And we all know what happens at 2amish in the morning right? BOREDOM! 

Therefore, to cure such mentioned boredom I decided to look up the definition/origin of mother's day.  I was actually surprised to find out that it is not a lonely American tradition but it's actually celebrated in many parts of the world at different times throughout the year.  (I am thinking I need to start traveling and visit each country on it's celebrated mother's day so I can get multitudes of pampering days! I know. I know. Greedy bitch I am huh?) 

One of the early calls to celebrate a Mother's Day in the United States was the "Mother's Day Proclamation" by Julia Ward Howe. click here for source.  However, this had more to do with our "duty" blah blah blah. 

In the years after the Mother's Day Proclamation, Ann Jarvis founded five Mothers' Day Work Clubs to improve sanitary and health conditions. In 1907, two years after Ann Jarvis' death, her daughter Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother and began a campaign to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday in the US. Although she was successful in 1914, she was already disappointed with its commercialization by the 1920s.  click here for source.  

So, you see. There really is a story behind it.  I thought it was interesting. 

Here are a few pics regarding my personal mother's day. While I may have appeared to be a greedy bitch above (talking about hopping around the world to have more mother's days) I actually thought of others that are important in my life. 

This is what I ordered for my 2 oldest daughters that have given me my totally awesome grandson and 3 granddaughters.  (It was such a special gift it actually came with AWESOME instructions!)

 And here is the yumminess that they both enjoyed! NOT 

sharing with the kids! HAHA! GOOD GIRLS!

And I did remember the mother in law as well.  This year I did not send flowers.  (I have sent just about every arrangement that 1800blahblah has to offer over the years anyways.)  
So, instead I sent her something so totally cool that she reacted like this:

You can't really tell but it's a GINORMOUS basket full of mini cookies, muffins, and brownies.

I actually heard all about the butterscotch brownie that was in there and she devoured. 

(Apparently she is a HUGE fan of butterscotch.  I wonder if I should offer her a 

buttery nipple shot the next time she visits?)

What did I get you ask? Well, first of all I got to eat at my totally favorite 

place to have a breakfast buffet.  SHONEY'S!

And then my Nay Nay brought me a yummo Sweet Peach Tea from my favorite TEA place, SONIC!

And then we spent the rest of the afternoon playing scrabble and building a puzzle as a family.  YEAH! I know!! No arguing, no insulting, nothing! Just fun!  

Like I said. I want to travel so I can Mother's Day hop! Who's with me? LOL

What did you do/get for Mother's Day? Share with us!

A Brag about my Megan Beth...

My Megan Beth was absolutely FANTASTIC last night in her Strings Concert.  It was even more amazing than I thought.  You see our school district (PUBLIC I might add!) had their 33rd annual Evening With Strings.  Grades 5 thru 12 combined together to put on one of the most amazing public school music events I have seen in a long time.  Over the years it has grown so big that they have had to split it into 3 separate nights just to accommodate all the schools and satisfy the Fire Marshall. 

So, what does that mean? Well, it means that even though this picture seems to show what one would think were all of our schools were there. But in all only a handful of elementary schools, 3 middle schools, and 2 high schools were scheduled for last night.  

Here are a few shots from the top of the bleachers where I sat. 

Now, this one above is a picture of the floor. This is where middle schools and the high schools sat. Look closely (in bottom right corner) in the stands and you can see that is where the 5th graders sat. 

Below is a better shot of the bleachers where the 5th graders sat. 

As you can see they filled almost the entire side of the gym!

The music director for the district said that there were over 1000 students participating last night alone!

A few more arial type shots: 

 Now, to get more specific and brag on MY Megan Beth. What a little performer she is!  Every time she is nervous as all get out but as soon as the show begins she is on her A game.

Here Megan Beth is before the concert practicing: 

Here she is with her friend Gwenny before the concert: 

I'm so proud of all the kids last night, but of course I have to admit I am a bit biased with my Megan Beth!

It comes in threes......

Well, I haven't ever been a big superstitious believer or anything.  I mean I have made the jokes of oh no there goes a black cat crossing my path or it must be in the stars, but I really haven't ever gotten much into all that mumbo jumbo superstitious stuff.

However, after a day like yesterday I may just change my mind.  You know that old saying it comes in threes?  Well, yesterday it sure did!

First: I sliced (and when I say slice I do mean SLICE!) my thumb open!  I think that I must have mistaken it for a fish that I wanted to cook or something!  My entire left thumb is wrapped up completely now (thanks to the school nurse!) with a huge bandage making it very hard to type.  This brilliant act of carving happened when I was trying to take off the little plastic cover that is on the el cheapo razor I decided to buy last week. There I was fiddling with it and getting quite frustrated while watching TV (yes I see the mistake here) when my thumb slipped and off came the plastic cover.  This was all fine and dandy since I wanted the cover off BUT in the process my thumb slid straight across that double bladed weapon razor and filleted the skin right open!

Second: Poor Megan Beth slammed her finger in the van's sliding door after school yesterday.  Now, it was most horrific because I had already walked all the way up to the front door when I heard her scream: OPEN THE DOOR.   I tell you that I dropped what I had in my hands, ran to the van and then as fast as my fumbling hands would allow (remember my thumb is all bandaged up) I got the keys to unlock the door.  Now, of course since I am such a cheap skate (remember I bought el cheapo razors??) I have a basic vehicle without the push button unlockey thingy.  So, I had to actually put the key in the door and turn the damn thing to unlock the doors.  All the time she is yelling: HURRY HURRY HURRY. IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS! 

Third: As if that isn't enough (remember things happen in threes right?) Nay Nay (my oldest) went into the ER last night and was admitted to the hospital with a collapsed lung.  It is apparently a side effect of her heart condition she has, her thin body structure, her smoking (yes I know!  Believe me she hears about this all the time from me!) and her neglectful manner of her required daily medicine taking.  I think pray this is a wake up call for her and she will now go to the dr. and take her daily medicine she is supposed to be doing because honestly I just can't imagine a world without my Nay Nay.  No matter how annoying I may be to her she can be to me, I will always only have one Nay Nay.  I just can't imagine a life without my annoying baby girl Nay Nay.

So, there it is in a nutshell.  Things happen in threes or so they say.  (Just who are THEY?)  As long as nothing happens with Chris at school, the hubs at work today or with Kelsey K tonight at Cirque Du Soleil (can you believe she gets to go to that????  I never had those kind of cool field trips with my foreign language clubs in school!)  then I will be able to breathe easy again.

As my step daughter would say:

**Le Sigh**

No longer a step family

This past weekend really opened my eyes and I would even say my heart to a degree that I wasn't aware was possible.  I guess one could say I had an "aha" moment regarding the family. 

You see as many of you may know we are a very uniquely blended family of sorts.  There is 10 years difference between myself and hubs with both of us having been married previously and with children.  (He with 2 and myself with 4.)   His two were grown (at least 18 yrs) when we first got together and mine were all under the age of 11.

Through the years we have had what I would call a roller coaster ride of emotions, actions etc.  I've never quite been able to figure it out or even get a semblance of a grip on things until this past weekend and even then I didn't know quite what it was until I did a bit of digging on Google.   Apparently, there is something called the Seven Stages of Development for Stepfamilies or The Step Family Cycle.

Now of course while all this "development" was happening it probably wasn't a good idea to mention this physco babble bullshit to me because I would have probably ripped your head off at any given time. (Maybe that is why God didn't reveal it to me until now?  Geeezz!  Does he always have to be right??)

Anyways, to get on with my story.  Way back in the beginning of our relationship I had this idea that I would approach Chuck's two girls and explain that in no form did I want nor would I try to be in the mother role.  What the HELL was I thinking?  They were still trying to process the death divorce of their parents' marriage.  I mean I had the best of intentions and all.  I truly desired for us to have this relationship in which we all got along and I suppose looking back I thought it was truly possible for us all to tip toe through the daisies.  BARF!

I now know  that this is referred to as stage one.

Stage One: Fantasy

In the beginning, family members have fantasies about what life will be like in the stepfamily. Usually, their only prior experience is biological family living. Consequently, expectations of what is possible in the early years can be distorted. For the adults in the family, the fantasies can include such thoughts as:

• Their mother never knit for them. Won't they be thrilled with what I can offer.  I can be honest I NEVER felt or even thought ANYTHING remote to this.
• I love my new wife, so I'll certainly love her children.  I don't know if Chuck felt this but I know that I certainly thought this regarding his kids.
• I'm glad to have a new father for my children.  This one is interesting.  I am sure it went through my head at some point but I don't think I allowed it to linger because I wasn't really looking for long term anything.

Stage Two: Immersion

This stage has some home runs in it if we were comparing it to what I feel we went through.  It mentions the attempted blending of routines and such of each family.  The kids don't know what to expect and feel as if they like or get along with the "step" they may be disloyal to their own parent.  I NEVER even realized this may be something they might have felt but if so it sure does clear up a few things. It also talks about the stepparent blaming themselves for things which I can say for sure that I did this.  Gosh, the guilt I went through drove me nuts!

Stage Three: Awareness

Wow!  This one really rings true!  It mentions one spouse being able to see the source of the pain but the other not able to deal with it yet.  The first is left feeling as if the other has a lack of commitment in the relationship.  LIGHT BULBS going off!  I used to get so angry with Chuck for what I called playing both fields.  I often felt that he wasn't allowing the two worlds to blend.  Maybe I was still in the fantasy stage thinking we would all just get along!

Stage Four: Mobilization

Just take a few moments to read this stage and decide for yourself because all I will say is that a LOT of time passed in this stage where either arguments or flat out ignoring happened.  

Stage Five: Action

There was definitely a time when things came together and I think healing began.

Stage Six: Contact

This stage refers to the step parent and step children getting to know each other more/better. I can honestly say that I remember the point in which I quit trying to protect everyone's feelings and worried about myself.  I made a definite decision to talk to whomever I chose even if they weren't talking to others.  I removed myself from being in the middle and I must say that is when I feel the relationship between my step daughters and I grew immensely! 

Stage Seven: Resolution

As I mentioned early in this post I didn't even know that these "stages" existed but now that I do things make so much sense.  This past weekend was so AWESOME!  For some unspoken reason the 8 of us seemed to be ok.  I mean I know that there is still room to grow, learn, forgive, love etc. etc etc.  but honestly I can't explain the flood of emotions I felt so many times throughout the party.  I won't go into all of them because some of them are so private they belong in my heart for me to treasure just for me.  But my heart grew so HUGE that I couldn't stop the tears when both my step daughters referred to my kids as their siblings.  I mean that was HUGE!  For the first time I felt the kids (all 6 of them) were in the same room in my heart!  And it's not because I didn't allow them in the same room but because their feelings didn't allow it.  I can see the HUGE strides that the two oldest girls made this weekend to come to the middle (and quite possibly come way across the middle in some instances to join with the other 4).   They probably don't even realize that when they made that figurative trip to the middle they also took the shield that had encased my heart and threw it to the ground.  

In those moments my love for them which honestly has been there all along was finally allowed to BE.  That is it.  Simply be.  I feel free.  I feel as if I have been given permission to love them for the beautiful women they are.  Yea yea, I know mushy but hell I can't help it!  While those two girls may not have been my birth children I can certainly say with all certainty that I have worried, loved and cared over the last several years as they are mine.  Maybe not my children because there aren't enough years in between us but I can tell you they are definitely in my inner circle of don't you dare F with them because I will just have to open a can of mama protection on you!

Take this post for what you will but seriously look at this picture taken at the party and tell me that there wasn't some sort of unseen force working in that room Saturday night!  I mean that is Chuck and myself with all 6 kids plus the 4 grandkids!  (His Our 2 grown daughters Aubrey and Sarah, and my our 4 others, Ashley, Kelsey, Chris and Megan, and our grandchildren Harmony, Serenity, Kaylee and Jonathan)

In the 9 years of our relationship there has never been such a picture much less the THOUGHT of such a picture.  I truly feel we may be in the resolution stage! Whatever stage it may or may not be I am pretty damn proud of my family!

 

The Party's Over...but oh the surprises it brought!

Yes, the big event is finally over.  I planned it for months and it had so many surprises both planned and unplanned that I cannot possibly cover it all in one post.  So, be ready as I go through the pics and my emotions are triggered to read more about the FABOO party we had last Saturday night to document the hubs 50th birthday. 

My friends....Thank you!

Officially, the party is over. The great my hubs if 50 party!  And boy was it a party!  Of course many of you know that the planning for this party began months ago and understand that I have an over abundant need to have every little detail perfect which can drive anyone batty! Ok, Ok, Ok, I admit I am OVERLY OCD to the point of pure madness! 

Even with this acute illness which would drive most people screaming into the night I still do not understand why I have 3 FABULOUS friends who put up with me and are always at my side with every major event I load onto myself.

Through thick and thin they are always there doing whatever it takes to make it through.  Whether it's bringing/making food, decorating, watching my kids or whatever they are there! The last year or so of my life I have grown closer and closer to these ladies and honestly I can hardly mention them without feeling all icky mushy inside.

I was extra blessed for this party though because I had two extra hands, Toni and Cheryl on deck to assist me in my craziness! If only they lived closer they could be a permanent part of our crazy group!

Back Row L to R: Nancy, Malissa, Cheryl

Front Row L to R: Toni, Janet, Wendy

The calm before the storm

I sit here this morning drinking a cup of nice hot coffee and trying to get myself vamped up to go shower and start the day.  lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggg sigh

Today is the day for the BIG party, hubs 50th bday party.  I have been working on it for over 2 months now and the day is finally here.  There are people of all walks of life coming in from all over to converge in one room to hopefully have a calm, relaxed fun evening of remembering, laughing and catching up. 

This is the first time since we moved to San Antonio 7 years ago that we are introducing so many of our friends, family etc in the same room.  I made the comment recently that it was like all aspects of our life were finally converging into one location.  Up until now we have unintentionally had these parts of our life separate.

This is the variety of invites for the party today: 

• Chuck's family
• Some of my family
• School friends
• Scout acquaintances and friends
• Railroad coworkers/friends
• Chuck's music friends from back in the day
• My friends from back in the day (two of which are now divorced)
• San Antonio friends
• My friends from back in my hometown 

The list is pretty extensive and it will be a site to watch and see how this crowd works.  I wonder if this will become the melting pot of the Jones?  Till later............

Thursday news..........

Oh blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............

I have just come in from Costco.  Good news is that the scrapbook pictures I sent to the photo lab are FABOO!  This is a scrapbook I am making of the 50 years of hubs life.  I thought it was such a WONDERFUL idea until about ohhhh pictures of 1977.  Now, I am only up to the 80's and I am TIRED!  While it is neat to see his family like this and learn about everyone and hear the stories I am TIRED!   Did I say TIRED?  Anyway, I only have a bit more to go and I will have a very cherished item that the rest of the family will wish they had!  HAHA!

I did get the cake ordered.  Costco are assholes about cakes though.  No scanning pictures/designs to put on the cake, only 2 cake flavor options and you have to choose from only a handful of designs.  By the time I got to the point of ordering the cake today I just said what the Fuckety Fuck and chose the sheet cake with the traditional happy birthday writing shit on it.  I just requested they keep the little 5 year old balloons off of it.  We will see.  It will get eaten either way right?  Plus, what the fuck do I care when I won't eat it anyway?  I will have my special delicious dainty gluten free cupcakes from my special bakery!

Ohhhh this is the countdown.  M-in-Law arrives tomorrow along with about 50 other peeps coming in for the party.  No the party is not at my house but somehow there will be people seeing my house.  Why do I care what my house looks like?  Well, for one we are bred from a young age that our house must be neat and tidy and the condition of our house tells what type of wife, mother, woman we are.  Well, SHIT this is hard!  I have been on my hands and knees cleaning the floor, under the stove, behind the toilet and more.  Will my M-in-Law really care what it looks like?  No, she probably won't.  She isn't really a mean person at all.  I mean over the years I have gotten used to the quirkiness and I think, hope pray she has gotten used to mine. In fact I think I have a fairly good M-in-Law.  Now, that she realizes I am not here to use and abuse her son for his money and I do truly love him (YIKES! Did I admit that?? LOL) I think we have an OK relationship.  

I am just over thinking it all and letting my OCD take over.  I know in the end the party will be great, people will laugh, and there will be plenty more pictures to add to the growing scrapbook. 

Growing up... A new phase of Life

Well, I have put off writing this entry because I figured if I wrote it then it would be true. However, as the days pass I must realize accept that my children are growing up at an alarming rate.  

With Ashley Renee now graduated from high school and living on her own, Kelsey asking me to teach her how to drive, Chris going on dates with his girlfriend (chaperoned of course) and now Megan having the gall of reaching the milestone of a double digit birthday (10 yrs old now!) I seriously have to take a deep breath and remember that this is truly the way life is supposed to move forward (even if it does make me feel old!).

Of course I do have advantages that come with each growing up such as no more bottles, diapers or nasty burp rags but also gone are the innocent questions of why is the sky blue or why can't I put the cat in the dryer mommy?   In their place I have questions of Mom can I do laundry at your house or Mom can you take me _______________ (fill in the blank).  (I won't go into the Mom can I borrow the car because I am still trying to get used to the fact that when I get in the car the gas tank is empty! **grin**)

Lately I have wondered if I have done a good my job as a mother  teaching each of them the important points of life.  Important points such as:

• You are never alone for God is always on your side.
• Never compromise your morals or values. 
• Remember that you only have one family. 
• Mama is always there to lend a shoulder to cry on or route you on in your adventures.

Of course things were hard throughout the years like working 3 jobs at one time not only to pay the basic bills but also to provide a few extras for the kids to enjoy.  Looking back I can honestly say that I don't regret a thing.

While age slowly creeps quickly runs up on me and tackles me to the ground I am learning to sit quietly and enjoy the beautiful people my children are becoming, knowing that, yes, I am doing a good job as a mother, friend and confidant because while they may venture out to explore and learn new things I can often see them looking back for assurance that I am still there.

But I must say little do they realize that no matter how old they get they will always and forever be my babies.  I will always be able to look into their eyes and get lost in the memories as well as the hopes for the future. 

A Quick Trip to Aquarena Springs

The entire month of May I eagerly awaited the beginning of summer for a few moments of extra sleep, relaxation and even some greatly needed family quality time.  With each day and the blaring sound of an alarm clock I repeated the all to familiar mantra in my head that summer will soon be here.  Hang in there and soon we can all relax, I repeated to myself on more than one occasion.

The month of June arrived and brought a great deal of disillusionment for me.  My visions and dreams of sleeping late, relaxing and enjoying some family quality time were quickly replaced with the reality of  graduation ceremonies, graduation parties, preparations for Boy Scout Camp, trips to Boy Scout Camp, moving a teenager back home where she belongs and let's not forget the tedious extra yard work due to the large amount of rainfall in the area.   

June came and went without a second moment to catch our breaths just in time for July to come roaring in!  With the approaching holiday plans I knew we needed to squeeze in a few precious hours of family time and so we hopped in the car for a quick trip up I-35 to San Marcos and the Aquarena Springs.  

I had researched a little on the internet to find out that Aquarena Springs offered glass bottom boat tours to view the ecosystems, wildlife and natural springs.  I have always been interested in this and seeing as I don't have a great deal of energy due to my health problems I figured that this was a great idea because it would be interesting AND we could sit throughout the tour.  

Even though the weather was poor due to a hurricane that had come ashore a couple of days before no lighting was evident and tours were still permitted.  Therefore, we purchased our tickets and climbed aboard a beautiful wooden boat that had been made in the 1950's.

 

This is a view from the back of the boat looking out over the river.  

If you look at the water you can see the raindrops hitting the river.

After settling in for the ride the tour guide began his monotone of information that mainly floated over the top of everyone's heads as we all leaned over to discover the wonders of the springs.  The bottom of the boat was indeed glass and the views were breath taking.  So much so that I hardly stopped to take pictures.  

We did learn a few things such as the turtles love to eat the arrow shaped plants growing in the river.  At least they do except when a boat carrying Megan the turtle lover is not moving overhead!  I can't tell you how hard we tried to watch for turtles only for them to skirt away quickly before we could turn our heads each time another passenger screamed "TURTLE!"  The tour guide even backed the boat up once for me in an attempt to feed Megan's love of turtles and allow her to view one.  Oh well, in the end I was able to convince Megan that a dark shadow was indeed a turtle hiding in the foliage.  Well, it could have been, right????

 The foliage in the river grows at such a rapid rate that it 

actually has to be mowed with special equipment 

sometimes as much as twice a week!

 

Throughout the entire tour the guide continued with his educational speech answering the sporadic questions of the passengers.  It became obvious that he really took an interest in his work when he showed us a fault line with natural springs that happened to be very close to a wall and required a bit of extra maneuvering of the boat.  

          

The white areas where the springs are evident are often 

referred to as The Cream of Wheat due to their 

texture and appearance.  Depths of the river have been 

recorded as much as 17ft deep!

                           

All in all I would say that the trip more than met the goal of spending a few hours of quality family time together.  It was interesting, calm and we did not hear the sound of one cell phone for almost 2 solid hours!

Surfside Beach Bash

Surfside Beach... just the name brings back so many fond memories.  Some from my own childhood and even more from recent years with my own children.

 It always takes a bit to get me out to the beach.  I usually procrastinate with any excuse I can trying to avoid the inevitable sand penetrating every possible exposed piece of skin. As an adult I have always hated digging in the sand, sitting in the sand and now that I am older I can't stop the rush of panic thoughts in my head regarding exactly what is lurking in the water.  Top all of that off with the thought of sunburns, windburns, sandy wet swimsuits, towels and the pounds of sand laying in the floorboard of the car it's no wonder why I hate the beach.  It used to be so very easy to simply be the kid and have fun.  There was always someone to take care of the aftermath left from a visit to the beach, but now I am the grownup.  I am the one that must deal with the mess.  

Knowing all of this one may ask if I feel so strongly about a visit to the beach then why do I continue year after year to punish myself in such a manner.  The answer is simple.  Once I get to the beach and everything is set up the negativity seems to drain from my body.  It's as if the constant motion of the water crashing to shore grabs my sourness and pulls it back out to the unknown.  With each wave my body begins to relax and a sort of calmness that can't be described by words alone washes through my veins.

I begin to watch the kids laughing and running along the shoreline.  Overhead the seagulls begin laughing at me as if to say you know you like it here!  Pelicans fly past the horizon in formation occasionally taking a quick dive to capture an unsuspecting fish.  I draw a deep breath and all is good in the universe once more because after all another good memory will be created for all to look back on.

With so many people coming in from out of town to experience and share in  Nay Nay's recent accomplishment of her high school graduation I wanted the weekend to end on a good note and therefore the idea of a beach bash was born.  

That particular day the beach was actually quite crowded but we were all able to stake a claim to a small portion of the shoreline and quickly began to set up.  Please don't look to hard because the picture will look more like a mini van convention rather than a trip to the beach!

Throughout the day sand castles were built, waves rolled in and friends enjoyed each others company. 

                                                      

At one point or another everyone had a smile on their face giving a clear indication that the beach was definitely the perfect choice for a good time.

 

At the end of the day all was assured with a small message scrawled in the sand.  

I bent over to read it and knew that yes, it was another good memory at Surfside Beach!

Summer Fun at Canyon Lake

As I sit here thinking about the pool outside and the fact that summer is officially here I am smiling.  Here it is barely a few days into summer and already we have had some awesome fun.  

A few weeks back  the 3 younger kids and I joined our friends, the Dunn family, to spend a day relaxing at Canyon Lake.  This was really my first visit to the lake and I fell in love with it!  

The kids immediately took off on kayaks loaned to us. While some of the adults were cautious of the kids being out on the water my kid's scout experience kicked into overdrive.   

Chris quickly fell into the role of kayak instructor for the younger kids.

Our friend Mark Dunn had brought out his boat which was a huge hit!
Of course Mark is always Mr. Cool!

He even let Megan Beth take a turn at driving the boat! 

I also met two amazing young ladies, one of which is an outstanding photographer.  The girls and I agreed to be her subjects for her photos.  These are just a few that she took. 

All in all the entire day was filled with friends

food, fun

 

and games for the kids!

It was a great day and many new friends were made!