Promises or Reality?

My ears are filled with yet more promises and a few questions come to mind.

• Do I take the time to even listen? 
• Do I even care to listen IF I do take the time? 
• Do I get my hopes up again only to have them thrown into the dirt once again?
• How many times will I hear the words I will show you? 
• How many times will I fall for it and believe? 

The answer is until the day one of us dies. That's how much I love you. 

Tell me. 

• Do you have someone: a lover, a boy/girl friend, a BFF, a child or someone else that you are so forever tied to that you will always be there when they cry help? 
• If so, how do you deal with that constant roller coaster? 
• If not how did you get away from it? 

Tell me...give me, something, anything. I am banging my head on this up and

down roller coaster in my life that I want to get off of but don't have the key to. 

Because folks I tell you that I am really tired of being this person. (Especially when it's not even my shit!)

It comes in threes......

Well, I haven't ever been a big superstitious believer or anything.  I mean I have made the jokes of oh no there goes a black cat crossing my path or it must be in the stars, but I really haven't ever gotten much into all that mumbo jumbo superstitious stuff.

However, after a day like yesterday I may just change my mind.  You know that old saying it comes in threes?  Well, yesterday it sure did!

First: I sliced (and when I say slice I do mean SLICE!) my thumb open!  I think that I must have mistaken it for a fish that I wanted to cook or something!  My entire left thumb is wrapped up completely now (thanks to the school nurse!) with a huge bandage making it very hard to type.  This brilliant act of carving happened when I was trying to take off the little plastic cover that is on the el cheapo razor I decided to buy last week. There I was fiddling with it and getting quite frustrated while watching TV (yes I see the mistake here) when my thumb slipped and off came the plastic cover.  This was all fine and dandy since I wanted the cover off BUT in the process my thumb slid straight across that double bladed weapon razor and filleted the skin right open!

Second: Poor Megan Beth slammed her finger in the van's sliding door after school yesterday.  Now, it was most horrific because I had already walked all the way up to the front door when I heard her scream: OPEN THE DOOR.   I tell you that I dropped what I had in my hands, ran to the van and then as fast as my fumbling hands would allow (remember my thumb is all bandaged up) I got the keys to unlock the door.  Now, of course since I am such a cheap skate (remember I bought el cheapo razors??) I have a basic vehicle without the push button unlockey thingy.  So, I had to actually put the key in the door and turn the damn thing to unlock the doors.  All the time she is yelling: HURRY HURRY HURRY. IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS! 

Third: As if that isn't enough (remember things happen in threes right?) Nay Nay (my oldest) went into the ER last night and was admitted to the hospital with a collapsed lung.  It is apparently a side effect of her heart condition she has, her thin body structure, her smoking (yes I know!  Believe me she hears about this all the time from me!) and her neglectful manner of her required daily medicine taking.  I think pray this is a wake up call for her and she will now go to the dr. and take her daily medicine she is supposed to be doing because honestly I just can't imagine a world without my Nay Nay.  No matter how annoying I may be to her she can be to me, I will always only have one Nay Nay.  I just can't imagine a life without my annoying baby girl Nay Nay.

So, there it is in a nutshell.  Things happen in threes or so they say.  (Just who are THEY?)  As long as nothing happens with Chris at school, the hubs at work today or with Kelsey K tonight at Cirque Du Soleil (can you believe she gets to go to that????  I never had those kind of cool field trips with my foreign language clubs in school!)  then I will be able to breathe easy again.

As my step daughter would say:

**Le Sigh**

Monday Blah

Today is a rough day.  I can't get a grip on things even though I have tried.  Possibly it's because of the constant pounding in my head that I have had for so many days straight that I have lost count.

I vowed to start a good week today and I feel that I tried with everything I have but it's just a huge struggle with this pounding.

I have taken my vitamins, eaten a good breakfast and avoided the junk food (mostly).  I worked for several hours this morning until the pain just overtook me.  I laid down and took a nap but the pain is worse now than before I laid down.

Ugh... I suppose it's just another freaking Monday.....

The scare is over.... (for now)

No real catchy title today.  I am just now coming out of my brain fog from last night.  Yesterday after coming home from an unplanned appointment with my surgeon I finally took some of my pain pills from almost 2 months ago that he gave me after surgery and slipped into a pain-free night of dozing/watching TV and snacking. 

If you will recall the last year has been pure hell for me as far as the health department goes.  For a recap click here.  I began 2011 with a major surgery having my colon and left ovary removed.  Things were going fairly well and all until about 2 weeks ago.  I got the bright idea that I could ride my bicycle around the neighborhood to prove to myself I could.  Well, I could but after doing so I left myself with a not so nice pain in my left abdomen. 

For the last two weeks I have dealt with that pain and attempted to deny it could possibly be something serious and kept telling myself it will go away.  Well, it didn't and finally Monday morning I called the surgeon's office and the nurse squeezed me into an appointment yesterday. 

Going into the doc's office was not a fun thing to do I tell you.  My greatest fear was the fact that as much as I liked my surgeon I do NOT like him enough to go through the experience of allowing him to cut me open once again. 

I sat on the edge of the exam table gently swinging my feet back and forth in an attempt to refrain from slipping into a homicidal rage keep things light and in walks the doc.  He of course was smiling and joking as usual but somehow it didn't do much for calming my nerves.  At this point I had attempted to deny this pain and fear for two weeks and my mind was only seconds away from falling over the edge of sanity and reason.

After literally a minute, maybe two, doc smiles really big and nods his head.  Is he smiling from a giddy feeling of a future surgery he sees me as?  I mean after all he is a slicer surgeon right?  No, he is in fact smiling because my ailment is in his words "normal".   NORMAL?  WHAT???? 

It seems that a certain percentage of patients have their small intestines rebel a bit against taking on the new role of acting as a colon.  (Remember they took out my colon?? They stretched my small intestine allllll the way around and connected it to the poop shoot to become my new colon.)  The rebelliousness of my small intestine is the source of the spasms in my abdomen I have been feeling.  Whew!~

In addition to this the pulling pain I feel to the left of my belly button is due to the connecting stitch used to attach the before mentioned small intestine now in the role of colon being attached to the muscle.  Apparently, a certain percentage of patients have this stitched area to pull the muscle a little too much causing a small inflammation resulting in pain. 

I shake my head in wonder because just a few days after surgery my doc explained to me the crazy mad itching I was experiencing at the incision area was normal as well.  It seems that a certain percentage of patients (wait haven't we heard this before???) experience this type of maddening itching caused by the nerves under the skin rejuvenating. 

So, all in all everything I am going through is normal.  However, seeing as how I have now accomplished 3 things in a row that only a "percentage" of patients experience do you think I should take a trip to Vegas or something?  I mean it seems my luck is just "right" there yanno?