Fur Tales....Siblings

Well, I have come to the conclusion that not only do I consider my animals as my very own children but they too consider themselves as siblings!  

What????????? You are thinking right about now.  Well, think about it. 

Don't siblings fight incessantly about anything and everything? 

Don't siblings torture you each other just because they can?

Don't siblings look for ways to piss you each other off?

Well, not only do my skin children (my humans) 

but my fur children do this as well. 

EXAMPLE: 

Sam Cat (Remember him??)

Okay now that your memory has been jogged on with the story.

I have found that Sam Cat will purposefully sit on TOP of the 

guinea pig's cage allowing his tail to slip between the bars. 

He then will switch his tail back and forth causing the 

Guinea Pig to scream for his life. 

All the while this is happening Sam Cat is looking over his shoulder 

and down at the pig with what I say is a HUGE grin on his little cat face.

No matter how many times I try to get the cat off he always goes back and then 

I am dealing with a screaming guinea pig once again.  Sounds like siblings rivalries doesn't it?

And here is even a video to share of animals in the wild taunting each other!

Jonesie~~

Grocery Shopping.....Cooking.... eating and other problems...

Where's the 'effin hate button?  Hm??? You know the opposite of that 'effin facebook like button?  If there were one I would push HATE so many times on the grocery shopping topic.

I didn't quite like grocery shopping in my pre-whale days but now that I am gluten free I REALLY hate it. I spend over 2 hours every single 'effin time just to search and read, and then put the item back on the shelf because of some sort of wheat, bran, rye, malt, msg something!  ARGH!

If I were like my fur pigs then it wouldn't be a problem. I would just lay around in my cage all day and wait for a humanoid to walk by and squeak at them to bring me something. I would love the fact that that humanoid brought me fruit, veggies and even more fruit!

But damnit I am the humanoid and not a fur piggie! I have to eat protein and that means cooking some sort of meat, usually turkey or chicken because on top of the gluten issue I have intestine issues and have had my colon removed and therefore can't process other meat well.  Oh I could eat fish too EXCEPT they are now radioactive. Thanks Japan!!

So, I am stuck eating chicken, turkey and some occasional pork (which I really don't like that much at all.) Here's the problem with that. IT HAS TO BE COOKED! I am so whale like now that I don't want to cook. I am LAZY.  I got quite used to the precooked shit the store sells but now I realize how much garbage they put in that pkg on top of the garbage food I was aware of.  Geeeezzz!

What is a lazy ass, gluten free, anti radioactive, non piggie, whale of a humanoid like me supposed to do?

After all that you would think I would lose some weight but NOPE!  Even after walking around the gluten poison filled grocery store I know I didn't lose one single 'effin ounce.

The thought has crossed my mind to open an entirely gluten free grocery store here in SA.  Surely, it could be a success if I could get off my lazy ass and research it maybe it would work.
  
  Before, I put too much effort into that thought tell me yours.  Do you think it would be a success/failure? Why or why not? 

 P.S.  To those that CAN eat gluten and have no worries ie: gut wrenching pain that takes you to the ER or causes your body to attack itself which will inevitably end in death I have a picture just for you: 

Can I get some num nums?

Before you get started reading let me say get your effing mind outta the gutter!  Just because I have been known to write a few shall we say suggestive posts in the past does NOT mean that I will be fulfilling your animalistic perversion for porn-like writing. 

Now, with all that said I will let you know what num nums really are.  Num nums are plain and simple guinea pig treats.  Whether it's carrots, radishes, veggie bites, fruit or nuts the pigs know it all as num nums.  I swear every morning it's the funniest thing. As soon as someone rounds the corner into the den my little fur balls start whistling at them.

And oh GAWD forbid if you ignore them because they only get louder.  And by louder I mean LOUDER! It's the funniest thing. Throughout the entire day every time someone (especially me) walks into the den they whistle until they get some num nums.  It's the craziest thing!

I can't help but wish that I had someone trained like these pigs have US trained.  I mean the mere thought of just calling out to someone to bring me whatever my little heart desired is truly intriguing! 

Someone please tell me that I'm not the only one trained to do stupid human tricks!  Do any of your furbabies have you conditioned to do something for them?  Go ahead and spill it!  We want to know!

I'm a Slave to the Farm... Part TWO!

Well, in case you are new to my blog or just somehow missed it I have talked about this subject previously. 

I decided today that it is very well worth revisiting though.  Especially since a large portion of the hubbs paycheck just went to help sustain this mini farm we have.  For the last three days the guinea pigs have been surviving on mere carrots, radishes, and hay.  One may ask what else does a guinea pig need?  Well, let me tell you.  According to my spoiled ass pigs they need not only carrots, radishes and hay but they also need regular guinea pig food (whatever that really is!  It's just looks like little pellets of stuff to me.), extra little treats, honey sticks and sheesh whatever the hell else you can think of and then some! 

So, off to the pet store we went. While I was there I figured I might as well stock up on the other farm animals pets' supplies.  Now, picture this:  I shop at a small family type pet store (I can't stand the commercial chain ones!) that is in a word quaint.  I like the home town feel of it and being a country girl at heart it gives me a type of feeling as if they really know me.  So, down the doggie aisle I go.  I load up the bag of horse doggie food for moon dog who is the stray who adopted us about 9 months ago.  That's a 45 lb bag of food.  Then comes the yorkie food.  She of course gets the "natural" food.  For some reason I feel better about giving her the bag of food that has pictures of grassy fields and a great big steak on the front.  Then the cat food.  This is a cat that adopted us about 3 years ago.  Persnickety thing he is as he only likes fish flavored cat food. 

I won't go into great detail about the special treats we bought for them all except to say that they actually sell dried bananas packaged up for guinea pigs!  At a pretty price I might add. 

Anyways, to sum this up almost $200 bucks later I get home to have not one, not two but EVERY single one of these farm animals pets start screaming at me as I walk in the door.  Do they love me for me or for the loads of spoiledness that gets lavished on them day after day? 

What about you?  Tell me I'm not the only one that is a slave to a fur child! 

I'm A Slave To The Farm

So, I was walking around the corner into my den today and I hear a faint but familiar squeak.  The squeak of one of our pet guinea pigs.

The thought came to my mind that the normal banging of the cage from his brother pig was eerily absent.  I stopped in my tracks and looked over to the cages and knew immediately why Big Butt (that is one of the many affectionate names we call the huge guinea pig.) was sitting so quiet within his cage.

Sir Sam Cat had selected the top of his cage to curl up for a snooze.  Yes, I kid you not! The cat was asleep on top of the guinea pig's cage.  Now, I am not quite sure if the blanket I use to cover the pig's cage at night had fooled the cat into not realizing that a tasty meal lay just beneath or if he truly was the fat, lazy-ass cat I have pegged him and he figured why work for his meal when he gets fed way to much more than once each day.  Either way he was not caring the least about the guinea pig just below him with only a few thin bars and a blanket between them.

I can only imagine what Big Butt was going through knowing that a huge creature which normally would be the equivalent to a death sentence was sitting on top of his normally safe home. Whatever his thoughts were I saved the day by forcing the cat to relocate which you would have thought I asked him to perform an act of congress the way he stretched and moaned!

Once safety was no longer an issue the demands for my attention began.  First the pig brothers began their daily dance for food and soon switched from sweet little pigs to demanding little convicts.  I swear with the amount of noise they make jumping around in their cages they sound like a pair of convicts trying to break free from a jail cell.  Can you just picture that one?  My two guinea pigs with their little hands (yes they have hands Charles!  They do because I say so!) grabbing the bars of their cages shaking them will all of their little fur might!  Their antics were rewarded with fresh food and a huge carrot a piece.  (Yes, I know! They are spoiled!)

Then the cat yelled at me.  So, I had to feed him which meant I had to go into the pantry where the food is located.  For some odd reason the yorkie thought because I was going into the pantry she needed food.  Think I am done yet?  NOPE!  Moon Dog (the one blue eyed stray that decided we were her forever home) peered at me through the window with that one said blue eye with the most pitiful look.  GEEEZZ!  And when all that was said and done I thought CRAP!  Let me go check on the devil rat in Megan's room.  That little freak gerbil deserves food even if I hate her.  Luckily she had food.  I was surprised because I hate that rat and haven't set eyes on her in at least a month or so.  Surprised because Megan has actually been taking care of her and surprised because she is no longer grey in color but black!~  Did she get a new winter coat or did she really die and someone replaced her to fool me OR better yet!  Did Megan color her with paint or something?

Whatever the case is all the animals are fed and I am a slave to the farm!