For all of those that want to live vicariously through my recent concert experience
for those that have the ridiculous thought that possibly Bon Jovi is getting old here you go:
BON JOVI KICKED ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And San Antonio LOVES BON JOVI!!!!!!!!! At least I know my group of gals do!
|L to R: Nay Nay (my daughter), myself and Malissa (my bff)|
And it appeared that San Antonio loves Bon Jovi as well! Here is a crowd shot from the top of the AT&T center. This concert was sold out as if we expected anything less!
This crowd (meaning me) went aboslutely ape shit when Jon took the stage for the first number.
It took about 2.2 seconds (if that long haha) for Jon to take me back down memory lane. Back to my beloved '80's where life was so different. Life was so innocent. Life was all about going to the lake, jamming on some great music (like Bon Jovi!!) and lathering on the baby oil to achieve that "perfect"
I leaned over to my BFF Malissa and explained to her that under no circumstances did I want her to interrupt ANY of my
2, 30, 50, 100 concert orgasms I hoped prayed expected to achieve in the course of the concert. Her eyes just about popped out of her head and she nearly choked on her 1/2 yard margarita when I told her that. I really didn't understand why it was so funny at the time but I suppose I had just said something else out loud that others only think in their head and still won't admit!
And on a side note who the FUCK sells 1/2 yard margaritas???? Those AT&T vendor shits screwed me! Everywhere else I go they sell the real deal! A full yard! None of that 1/2 yard shit! Did they think the crowd that night were a bunch of old fuckers who couldn't handle it? COME ON! I am an original '80's baby and believe me I can handle a full yard of it all! (haha! Let your mind wonder on THAT one!)
Back to the story: JON BON JOVI!
If you are jealous about now you should be. Jon totally rocked the night! First he came out in his leather jacket which of course promoted the sweat factor to happen underneath. And of course he had to take it off and reveal the blue sweat covered t-shirt underneath with a hint of his manly chest. (jealous yet?? If you didn't get it before do you get it now when I said the line about the
2, 30, 50, 100 concert orgasms??? I won't tell you what number I was on at this point. After all it WAS only the beginning of the concert!)
Throughout the night they played a little bit of new and of course they had to play some of the BEST!
Nothing like a little Bad Medicine to get the ENTIRE crowd (minus 1 stupid bitch 2 rows behind us. I will tell you that story in a few.) on our feet
screaming singing ENTIRE lyrics! Notice that big read heart behind the band. That is being shown on one of the many giant ROTATING screens! It soooo added to the show! I swear they really added to the orgasm concert experience especially when Jon's face was on EVERY single one of them at once and I just KNOW he was singing directly to ME!
(Fantasy I know but you bitches will have to let me have it cause I was there and you weren't! Haha!)
I think about now you need another faboo picture to drool over and I must give the
awesome drummer a little story time here!
|Song: Thorn in My Side|
Just another shot for you to drool over!
By this point Jon was clearly covered in
delicious love oil sweat and had to go relieve himself
change clothes and so the stage was left to guitarist Richie Sambora.
He completely rocked the house with Lay Your Hands On Me.
I would have obeyed him but it obviously was NOT one of those moments but rather
a rocker's church moment which completely impressed me and I believe many others!
After the entire audience was left in complete wonderment with
the Holy Spirit goosebumps running
up and down their arms Jon returned to the stage and everyone quickly jumped to their feet and
filled the building with a thunderous roar!
We were all led through many more songs which we HAD to
scream sing along with. At several points throughout I had realized that not quite everyone was jumping to their feet and screaming like crazy people
enjoying the concert to the level I was. There was this
beast, alien creature, man sitting next to my BFF Malissa who just sat there. And when I say sat I mean blobbed. He was quite large and really seemed
to be bored out of his mind. I couldn't quite understand what the hell was his problem but yanno after about two seconds (if that long??) I said very loudly to Malissa:
FUCK HIM! WE ARE AT A CONCERT! HAVE FUN!
To which later I found out that he said to his
partner, lover, butt screw, friend that the
"girls" over there (pointing to us) where really too loud. TOO LOUD?? REALLY? Did he not realize
where the hell he was? Go the Fuck home and find your ass plug buddy!
I was busy having my
2, 30, 50, 100 concert orgasms!
And while we are on this subject of fuckers that obviously do NOT understand the rules of a Bon Jovi concert (meaning get up off your ass and DANCE, SCREAM AND HAVE FUN!) let me tell you about
the person 2 rows behind us. Apparently she was quite upset with two ladies in
front of her (right behind me). They told me that the woman actually asked them to MOVE
at one point when they were standing and singing with the ENTIRE AT&T center
beast, alien creature, man sitting next to my BFF). MOVE???? Are you serious? At a BON JOVI concert you aren't supposed to STAND, DANCE, SING, have 2, 30, 50, 100 concert orgasms because you may offend someone or get in their line of sight???
To those obviously non human, unenlightened, STUPID alien creatures I say GO THE HELL HOME!
Actually, what I DID say (in quite a loud voice) was WHAT???
Tell the bitch to go home! This is a concert! It's JON BON JOVI dammit!
If you don't like it MOVE!
Yeah, I said it and in my VERY loud out loud voice too. Of course the ladies right behind me
thought it was wayyyy funny (and honestly so did I.) But I couldn't help thinking that that
was probably one of those moments that the hubs refers to when he says One of these days I will either end up in jail or get my ass totally kicked because of something you say Janet. *sigh*
Back to the story: JON BON JOVI!
Throughout the evening the apprehension in my stomach was getting more and more obvious.
I couldn't help but think when the hell are they going to play Living on A Prayer???
Surely they can't have a concert without THAT song! I mean that is THE song of all songs!
I simply told myself a
hundred few times that is one of their older songs and just because I
live in the past doesn't mean that they have to sing it. (OH YES THEY DO!)
Well, the evening came to
an end it's scheduled we must give them an encore performance portion of
the concert and the band exited the stage. The arena grew dark, except for the
few millions of lit candles cell phone screens swaying in the dark. The crowd of course started with a low grumble and within seconds exploded into a deafening scream as the lights came back on and Jon reentered the stage to the tune of
Wanted: Dead or Alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HELL YEA!!!!!!!!! We jumped to our feet once again and even though Jon was obviously
stalkers fans we are knew every single word and helped him out by shouting it all the way through!
As if the energy wasn't at a
frightening thrilling level already the lights grew dim and those rotating LED screens I mentioned before lit up with this backdrop:
You got it baby! LIVING ON A PRAYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELL YEA! The night was complete! I was ready to become airborne and leap from my balcony seat to
gracefully join Jon on stage at this point. If I had any voice left at this point it was definitely being used to sing this song word for word! I quickly shot a glance over to my almost 20 yr old daughter on my right and
witnessed her also singing EVERY SINGLE WORD!
Yes, I admit it that was such a PROUD MOMMY MOMENT! My baby girl loves Bon Jovi as much as I do! Never did I think that I would have a moment as proud as that one!
Go NAY NAY! Hahahhahaha!
Of course, all of this excitement had to come to an end and Bon Jovi had to bid us all farewell.
For all those that didn't get to attend this concert it's ok.
I promise you I screamed, yelled and danced enough to cover for you!
One word of advice though: If you are looking to lose a few thousand
calories in one night you really should consider attending a Bon Jovi concert!