Animal Porn

Caution: This post does contain sexually explicit material that probably will offend you but honestly I don't give a shit!  So choose to read or not.  Again, I don't give a shit.  Either way I am NOT responsible for any type of damage the information in this post may or may not cause you simply because I say so!  (As well as the fact that YOU can choose to read or not read!)

Being ill for the last year and basically spending great amounts of time in my bed watching TV I have begun to figure out that there are only so many reruns of Criminal Minds, Law and Order, NCIS and other such shows that I can watch before being able to completely describe the plot within 2.2 seconds of it coming on.  Recently, I have turned to watching channels such as the Discovery Channel, National Geographic and Smithsonian Channel.

Just the other day I came across a show by the name of Street Monkeys.  It really is an odd show that highlights the daily battles of two rival groups of monkeys in a war over a lavish estate in Durbin, South Africa.   (Again, remember that I have depleted the supply of my normal viewing.)  I only caught the last few minutes of the show the first time and therefore chose to watch a full episode a few days later.

Let me tell you this episode was quite a shock!  Apparently, the mating season had begun and the testosterone levels were raging!  These monkeys were going ape shit!~  (haha!)   I now know that when this particular breed of monkey is ready to mate the female must be convinced to mate (ironic eh??).  Therefore, the male monkey's ass turns an astounding bright red which compliments (narrator's word not mine!) his large blue balls! I kid you not!  Across my beautiful new bedroom TV flashed the largest pair of monkey balls I had ever cared (or not cared) to see!  My eyes were truly raped!  (and now so is your mind! LOL)  The male monkey's ass turns an astounding bright red which compliments (narrator's word not mine!) his large blue balls!  Supposedly, this show of color and testosterone may or may not entice the female into a mating ritual.  (Again, ironically humorous to me I say!)

It seems that not only were the monkeys going crazy it seemed so were the camera men!  I know that it had to be camera men because I just don't know a decent woman that would have thought to capture some of the angles and shots that were being shown!  I have come to the conclusion that a man has no boundaries when it comes to watching the act of sex.  They had captured more close ups of the various monkey parts than I could have ever imagined!  More than once I believe my jaw hit the floor and I know I heard a distasteful yuck escape my mouth.  Especially the scene in which the female does permit the male to mount her and a younger male monkey runs up and literally crawls under the couple and lays on his back to WATCH!  Yes, his face was merely inches away from the actual act of monkey humping!  EWWWWWWWWWWW!!  What the hell was that SICK camera man thinking when he ZOOMED in on this?  NEVERMIND! I do NOT want to know!

I am not quite sure why I continued to watch this show but over the next hour I was educated on the inordinate amount of convincing these male monkeys have to do just to convince a female to have what appeared to be less than 30 seconds of sex!  Dancing, singing, gift giving (fruits etc) and let's not forget the flashes of color from their asses and balls!

So in closing I just want to warn those unsuspecting individuals that are mindlessly flipping through the channels on their TV that while you may have your channels on parental lock a few disgusting porn shots will still be able to slip through!