Hmmm... God's Gracious Gift? Really? I tend to get stuck with that right there because I either tend to laugh at the idea that someone would think I am a gift from God. I mean come on! I personally think that is a little much to live up to. Don't you?
I mean with that statement I envision a small, calm saintly type handing out soup and blankets to those in need. Or maybe someone reading to the beautiful little children in a meadow. Ughhhh that's enough envisioning. It literally is making me ill.
- In reality I am a sarcastic, bull headed individual who has been told more than once that I am often too blunt when I speak. (Too blunt???!!?? I see it as telling the truth. I can't help it if you asked my opinion and I told you. If you don't like what I have to say then stop asking me!)
- In reality I am a loyal, hard working individual who won't quit until the job is done. (I mean why start something if you aren't prepared to finish it?)
- In reality I am usually the fair, level headed one in the group. (My children often hate this one because they say that in my attempts to be fair they often are last in anything I organize/run.)
- In reality I am outgoing and have big dreams/ideas. (Often filling my plate with too many projects and therefore making my family miserable with the help me cries I throw out.)
Like it or not, it's your choice. But seriously if you don't really want to hear the truth or your feelings have the potential to be fragile take my advice and don't seek my opinion because yes, I will:
- tell you that your pants make your ass look like the double wide trailer being hauled down the highway
- tell you that I see grey hair
- tell you that your food tasted like a wart on a frog's ass
- tell you that you breath smells like a thousand camel farts bottled up in a jar
- tell you that you must definitely being going crazy for inviting your in-laws for the holidays
- tell you that no your baby is NOT the cutest little thing I have ever seen
- tell you that Santa is indeed a bad marketing scheme created by the retail industry
- tell you that my brother in law killed Rudolph last weekend and they plan on eating him
- tell you that you need to slap your kid down for the shitty attitude they have
- tell you that I could go on and on with more truths like this but at this point I think you get the picture!